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Don’t Get Caught Offside: Soccer Story Kicks off on PC, Consoles, and Game Pass Today

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You thought the World Cup was the biggest soccer-related story right now? Think again! No More Robots (Descenders, Hypnospace Outlaw) and PanicBarn (Not Tonight) are officially launching Soccer Story, a comedy open-world RPG about saving the world with a soccer ball today!

Sure, we’ve seen a few upsets this World Cup so far, but if you really want to see upset, you should see what happens after you beat Toddler FC 5-1. Now THAT’s upset – Mike Rose

A year after The Calamity tore apart the very foundations of soccer (it’s called football actually) as we know it. Since then, Soccer Inc. has taken full control of the sport and has BANNED anyone from even CONSIDERING kicking a ball around. Cristiano Ronaldo? More like, Ronal-no!
Luckily, a magical football has descended from the heavens and has chosen you, The Savior of Soccer, and, –you’ll get a kick out of this – you’ve been tasked with saving the future of the sport and bringing harmony to the world once more.

Of course, there are two offsides to every story, so let’s give the obviously cartoonishly evil soccer-deniers the benefit of the doubt and let the story unfold.

  • Drop your soccer ball and play anywhere! The world is full of goals, puzzles and secrets – it’s up to you to find them!
  • Play a single-player story full of quirky characters, quests, rogue refs, and wacky soccer-adjacent sports
  • Build your soccer career and do battle against the fiercest soccer teams like literal sharks, toddlers, old-age pensioners, and ninjas
  • Save soccer and restore peace and harmony to the world
  • Grab a friend for a four-player local multiplayer match mode with a full roster of teams and animal captains
  • FISHING MINIGAME
If you aren’t into soccer and are a little overwhelmed (and/or are American), we’ll leave you with a quote from one of the greatest philosophers of our time, the late Johan Cruyff:  “If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better.”

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